If you never change your mind, why have one?

One thing we’ve never really talked about is child development. Possibly the most dramatic period of change in our lives occurs when we enter our ~*~ teens ~*~. All joking aside, it can also prove to be the most dangerous depending on your environment. ‘Thirteen’ becomes a really good example of this when thirteen year old Tracey (Evan Rachel Wood) meets Evie (Nikki Reed) the most popular girl in school, who introduces Tracey to drugs, theft, sex, and all around just being a bitch. 

Some parts of this are really disturbing, but it paints a good picture of how vulnerable and desperate for approval we are at this age. 

Watch It Here: (http://www.putlocker.com/file/1CV9ZZ0B95Y8C48)

‘The human heart needs to love. It’s something built into us from the moment we’re born, if not before. We come out of the womb squalling and frightened, evicted from the warm darkness that’s the only home we’ve ever known, where we needed nothing, into a cold loud bright place where we suffer hunger and thirst, and then we’re placed into our mother’s arms. Our mothers feed us and burp us, wipe us when we’re dirty, kiss us when we cry. She’s the sun and we’re little seedlings; we grow toward her as the source of all that’s good. Even if she isn’t all that good.

Even if she didn’t want children, even if she’s neglectful, we love her anyway. We have no other choice. For a while, she’s all we need. Then things get complicated. Around about age two, we start realizing we’re separate people and we practice saying “No!”, just to prove it, and over the next several decades we just keep on growing away, but we do not lose the need to love, to touch, to be touched. The need for intimacy. Somewhere along the way, the hormones kick in, and sex only complicates the whole issue.

If we’re lucky, we develop into a person who’s capable of a long-term intimate relationship and having a family of our own. If we’re unlucky, we wind up living with a triple-digit number of cats and no one notices we’re dead until the smell gets too bad. If we’re not just unlucky, but cursed, if through mistreatment and punishment, the ability to love gets broken, the need still doesn’t go away. It becomes a rage. And the person becomes a psychopath.’

- The Outsiders 

Parents would certainly deny it, but Canadian researchers have made a startling assertion: parents take better care of pretty children than they do ugly ones. Researchers at the University of Alberta carefully observed how parents treated their children during trips to the supermarket. They found that physical attractiveness made a big difference.

The researchers noted if the parents belted their youngsters into the grocery cart seat, how often the parents’ attention lapsed and the number of times the children were allowed to engage in potentially dangerous activities like standing up in the shopping cart. They also rated each child’s physical attractiveness on a 10-point scale.

When it came to buckling up, pretty and ugly children were treated in starkly different ways, with seat belt use increasing in direct proportion to attractiveness. When a woman was in charge, 4 percent of the homeliest children were strapped in compared with 13.3 percent of the most attractive children. The difference was even more acute when fathers led the shopping expedition - in those cases, none of the least attractive children were secured with seat belts, while 12.5 percent of the prettiest children were.
Full Article: (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/03/health/03ugly.html)

*My parents have never buckled me in and used to send me on little errands around the supermarket when I was 7 or 8

Fear is a distressing negative emotion induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus such as pain, or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger and flee from it or confront it, also known as the Fight or Flight Response. Some psychologists have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic innate emotions. This set also includes emotions such as joy, sadness and anger. Worth noting is that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.

- Wikipedia 

We all experience fear in different ways. Fear doesn’t always have to manifest itself into our lives in the literal way. It can vary from mild caution to extreme phobia & paranoia. Not only that, but the way we experience fear can also effect how long it stays with us. Experiences of extreme fear can remain with us long after exposure in the unconscious mind, where the fear may manifest itself into nightmares.

A person with avoidant personality disorder may:

• Be easily hurt when people criticize or disapprove of them

• Hold back too much in intimate relationships

• Be reluctant to become involved with people

• Avoid activities or jobs that involve contact with others

• Be shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong

• Make potential difficulties seem worse than they are

• Hold the view they are not good socially, not as good as other people, or unappealing

  People with Avoidant Personality Disorder can’t stop thinking about their own shortcomings. They form relationships with other people only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection is so painful, that these people will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others. Without treatment, a person with Avoidant Personality Disorder may become resigned to a life of near or total isolation. They may go on to develop a second psychiatric disorder such as substance abuse or a mood disorder such as depression. 

Full Article: (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001936/)

no shame

A type of impulse control disorder, Pyromania is an impulse to deliberately start fires to relieve tension and typically includes feelings of gratification or relief afterward. The term pyromania comes from the Greek word πῦρ (‘pyr’, fire). Pyromania is distinct from arson,  and pyromaniacs are also distinct from those who start fires because of psychosis, for personal, monetary or political gain, or for acts of revenge. Pyromaniacs start fires only to induce euphoria. 

Pyromania is a rare disorder, and the incidence of it is less than one percent in most studies; also, pyromaniacs are a very small proportion of psychiatric hospital admissions. Pyromania can occur in children as young as age three, but it is rare in adults and even more so in children. Ninety percent of those diagnosed with pyromania are male.

Pyromania in young children often comes from the feeling of loss of love and these children often target the traditional givers of love such as their mother, father or siblings. In rare cases they have been known to burn younger siblings because they believe their parents are giving all their love to the younger child. However, in adults pyromania is not from the loss of love but either stress or a undying need for power, destruction, purity and sanctity. 

Most people have a habit of thinking of fire as a destroyer but some (many pyromaniacs) believe fire is a purifying element.

- Wikipedia

The Misconception: All buttons placed around you do your bidding.

The Truth: Many public buttons are only there to comfort you.

You press the doorbell button, you hear the doorbell ring. You press the elevator button, it lights up. You press the button on the vending machine, a soft drink comes rattling down the chute.

Your whole life, you’ve pressed buttons and been rewarded. It’s conditioning at its simplest – just like a rat pressing a lever to get a pellet of food.

The thing about buttons though is there seems to be some invisible magic taking place between the moment you press them down and when you get the expected result. You can never really be sure you caused the soft drink to appear without opening up the vending machine to see how it works.

Maybe there’s a man inside who pulls out the can of soda and puts it in the chute. Maybe there’s a camera watching the machine, and someone in a distant control room tells the machine to dispense your pop.

You just don’t know, and that’s how conditioning works. As long as you get the result you were looking for after you press the button, it doesn’t matter. You will be more likely to press the button in the future (or less likely to stop).

The problem here is that some buttons in modern life don’t actually do anything at all. The magic between the button press and the result you want is all in your head.

full article: (http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/02/10/placebo-buttons/)

Ocean/Saltwater - To see or taste saltwater in a dream may symbolize tears and heartache. It may also indicate some emotional outburst or suffering.

Underwater - To dream that you are under water may suggest that you are feeling overwhelmed/overcome with emotion. You may feel as if you are in over your head in some kind of stressful situation. You may feel as if you need a sense of control in your life. To dream that you are breathing underwater, represents a retreat back into the womb. You want to return to a state where you were dependent and free from responsibilities. Perhaps you are feeling helpless, unable to fulfill your own needs and to care for yourself. 

Water Balloon - To see or throw a water balloon in your dream, symbolizes an outburst of emotions. You are venting your frustrations and anger in an indirect and playful way. You have difficulties experiencing your true feelings. To dream that someone throws a water balloon at you, represents some negative emotions or anger that is directed at you, but you are oblivious to.

Water Cooler - To see or use the water cooler in your dream, suggests that you are literally bottling up your emotions. You are looking for safe and controlled release. Alternatively, a water cooler indicates that you are seeking spiritual nourishment or just conversation. Consider the phrase “water cooler talk”

Water Fountain - To see or drink from a water fountain, indicates that you are feeling emotionally refreshed and rejuvenated.

Water Lilies - To see a water lily in your dream, signifies grief, sorrow, and bereavement.

*note: these aren’t proven, just some fun food for thought.
source: (http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=water)